Gay Guys Can’t Have Gay Friends

So I’ve had a series of event occur lately that just drives the point home of how much I hate other gay guys sometimes.  No less than three times this past week was I brushed aside due to the simple fact that I wasn’t willing to bang any of these guys.  I’m appalled and a bit disgusted.  

Now these are guys I have known before and a long way in the past I have been intimate with them.  Nothing serious, just random fun that happened many years ago.  I approached one on my own.  He had moved away for a long time and recently came back.  I sent him a text message, he replied, we started having a conversation.  I kept it innocent and said that now since he is back we need to hang out.  We have a membership at the same gym so I proposed we go together for the sake of not going alone and having a friend to motivate you.  The winky faces and innuendos started and I was fairly quick to shut him down (politely).  “Well man, I am seeing someone so there won’t be any of that.”  To this I immediately got “I’m a catch and you’ve passed me up too many times.  Just saying.”  I let him know that I didn’t contact him with the purpose of being shady or the purpose of getting my dick wet.  He responded with the quick “No it’s ok.  I was just letting you know.”  However the conversation dropped after that and he stopped responding.  To this day he has yet to respond back to me in any form.  Not even over Facebook.  I’m a bit pissed off about that.


The second guy is someone I had attempted to date a long time ago but there were too many factors that went against that.  I lost a family member close to the time we were starting to get to know each other and in hindsight it was probably best.  At the time I was way too wild and there were drugs involved in our interactions.  Now things are a lot more clean.  No drugs, no wild parties all the time, or anything like that.  We both mellowed out considerably in recent years.  Anyway I get a text from him randomly asking what I was up to.  We had a bit of a conversation and caught up.  I bought a new truck, he has a new room mate and a new place, new job, etc…  Conversation turned to how we need to hang out because it’s been like, four years since we have.  That’s when things turned.   I asked him what he was up to that night and he responded with “Not much, just at home.  Bored.  Horny.”  I responded with “I can feel your pain there, man.  My man has been in training somewhere out of the country for the past 2 weeks.” Which was 100% true.  He responded and apologized.  He wasn’t aware I was seeing anyone.  I let him know there was no harm done but even so we should still hang out because it’d be nice to catch up and our friendship didn’t need to be physical.  He said something to the effect of “I don’t think I’d be able to keep my hands off you” and I reiterated that I was serious about my man.  He said he’d get back to me with a work schedule and we could hang.  It’s been almost a week.  Nothing.  

So I find myself here picking off just about every gay guy I know from my friend circle based on the simple fact that if we aren’t banging we aren’t interacting.  It angers me.  It drives the point home that maybe gay men are each other’s worst enemy.  Even the first time it had ever happened to me.  I was 20.  My friend Lee was one of the first gay guys I was ever a friend with.  We knew we were gay (everyone else did too) but we had never been intimate.  Believe it or not more of my straight friends were intimate with him than I was, but that’s beside the point.  This guy had me in his sights hard and he wasn’t shy about it.  I’m a stocky guy.  Kinda furry.  I fit into the “Bear Cub” category and that was/is is type to a T.  So it was no secret this guy was after me.  I kept it civil.  Never budged.  Even when we were all rolling balls at a rave one time I didn’t even so much as touch him.  The unwanted contact and innuendos finally led me to straight up tell him “Look man, you’re a great guy.  You’re attractive and have a great personality, but I’m just not into you in that way and I think our relationship would be better served as a close friendship instead of getting physical or otherwise.”  After telling him this I could literally see his heart break.  It was as if a light left his eyes and I never saw it again.  Not when he looked at me, anyway.  Had he not adopted a more malicious attitude toward me after that I may have felt a bit more discouraged.  It seemed as though since he knew we would never be a thing he stopped hanging out with me and my group of friends.  He even stopped hanging with my one friend that introduced him to our circle.

I’m still angered by the fact that I can’t seem to acquire new friends simply because I won’t date them or put out.  All my straight friends are getting married and breeding so they’re busy 80% of the time.  I don’t have many girl friends because I don’t usually get along with women.  I’m running out of options, and with my man working and being shipped around here and there I have a lot of time and I’m starting to go stir crazy.  Gay guys… seriously…


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